WINTER BLUES

It's winter, obviously. And it's a real bitch, here in Indiana. While our spring is lovely, and our summer is wonderful, they last about three months alltogether. They are my favorite seasons, and when they come, its literally better than Christmas.

And then there's fall. The leaves change to beautiful reds and yellows, the air is crisp, I break out my converse and wool mini skirts/tights, and I am blissfully happy. But, this joy lasts about two weeks and then the air goes from "beautifully crisp" to "pretty fucking frigid."

No sunshine, no cute little furry animals prancing about. We get: rain, freezing rain, hail, and even better.. ICE. And oh, the ice...

I wake up one morning and find the trees covered in crystals- it looks a bit like a fairy land. I think, "Oh! How lovely!" And then, I remember that my 1990 Toyota Camry has been sitting outside (because my parents take the garage for their luxury BMW and Mercedes SUV).

I am horribly, hideously angry at the thought of climbing into my sub-zero car, and am NOT looking forward to being unable to get my car to heat up (because this takes about twenty minutes, and the drive to school is only ten minutes long). So, I open the garage door and am hit by the blast of cold and I immediately feel like I am going to pee my pants from the freezing air.

And then the wind! Ha! I can't even DESCRIBE the gail-force winds except to tell you that they easily knock my 105 pound-ass right on the ground. I slip and slide on the ice, and the wind knocks me right back down. "Fucking great..." I mumble, as I scrounge for my keys at the bottom of my bag.

Hands trembling, knees knocking, I finally get my car door opened and I reach under my seat for the ice-scraper. "Yayyy! I get to stand out here in the fucking 9 degree air and scrape my car windows for twenty minutes..AND I'll be late for school. Joy!"

And each morning, its the same. For SIX MONTHS, October to March. It's absolutely depressing and awful. All I can look forward to is the first day of Spring, when the ice is melted and the sun is shining and the butterflies come out, and I can actually step outside without snot dripping from my nose and freezing on my face.

For now, I'll be in my footie pajamas, eating tomato soup, and dreaming of Betsey Johnson bikinis and tanning oil.

P.S. Yesterday is was FOUR DEGREES out side. IN PARTS OF ALASKA, it was FORTY DEGRESS. What the fuck?